FeedNo One is Perfect and You are a Great Kid (Written by Kim Hix; Illustrated by Lee Dillingham)
February 25, 2009 in Creative Writing activities, Dillingham, Lee, Elementary Educators, Hix, Kim, Making Personal Connections, Personal Connections, Picture Book, Preschool to 1st grade teachers, Young Adult Novels Tags: children with behavior disorders, children with OCD, Kim Hix, Lee Dillingham, No One is Perfect and You are a Great Kid
This post is a little different today for two reasons: 1. I want to announce the winner of Weebeasts: Plight 2. I want to introduce an author, Kim Hix, to you. She is on her blog tour for her book, and this post today is written mostly by her!
And the winner is. . . .Shannon Cardonella! Shannon, thank you for your nice comments on the post about Weebeasts: Plight. You have won a free copy of the book. 
Now on to today’s post. . .
Picture book for preschoolers through third graders (or even older depending on the child), realistic fiction
10-year-old boy as main character
Rating: This is a touching book, and it should be especially shared between parents and children with behavior disorders.
Short, short summary: Zack feels different from most people. He enjoys most days, but sometimes he gets mad and frustrated over small things. But the “small things” don’t seem so small to Zack. He has trouble controlling his emotions when he gets upset over everyday activities such as choosing teams if it doesn’t go the way he wants or expects. He can also become obsessed over things like wanting a hamburger, and then he can not think of anything else. But through it all, his mom supports him and reassures him that he is a great kid.
So, what do I do with this book? (Q & A with author, Kim Hix)
Kim, can you tell us briefly why you chose to write this book?
It came to me quickly after one of Zack’s “episodes” of becoming very upset, angry, and distraught because he could not complete a simple task to his perfection. He loses total emotional control, then afterward, he is so upset with himself. So this all happened one day, and he began with his usual questions, “Why am I like this? Why did GOD make me this way? Why are all the other kids perfect?” All difficult questions to answer. The idea for the book was a gift to him, for when he grows up and hopefully can look back on this childhood he has struggled in and realize how much he is loved, despite his challenges. The book was to let him know he is not alone in his suffering. We hoped other children would feel comfort from his story and realize they do not stand alone in whatever struggles or challenges they may face.
So, does Zack in the book suffer from a certain behavior disorder or mental illness?
Yes, the boy in the book is, of course, my son who is now almost 14. We began making the tours to doctors, specialists, therapists when he was about two-years-old, as I knew something was very wrong, almost from birth. Around the age of 18 months, he began having very lengthy, volatile rages over the most minor things. It was clear during these rages that something else was in control of him. He did not look the same. Once the episode was over, he would return to the sweet, cherub-faced, silly, loving, little boy we knew. It was obvious these were NOT temper tantrums; they were quite different. Anyway, he was first diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder nos (not otherwise specified), which means he had many of the symptoms, but not all. He lacked the high mania phase and mood disorder. Later he was diagnosed, and these stand correct today, of OCD/Tourettes Disorder/ADHD/PANDAS.
When teachers, parents, homeschoolers, or counselors use this book with their children, students, or clients, what are some activities they can do with this book? Are there any art, writing, or reading skill activities?
The book is witten as if Zack is there, talking to the child, and he asks thought provoking questions in order for the child (or children, if a group setting) to have the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. Many children feel different for a wide range of reasons, so the book is broad enough that any child should be able to relate to some aspect of the story. The story is to let kids know that they are special and unique just how they. Even if they are different, then that is okay, and they are not alone. Millions of children suffer with any number of disabilities from mental, physical, emotional, intellectual and more; but whatever they struggle with, they still want love, compassion, understanding and acceptance. Zack always thought he was the only kid in the whole world with problems, and we wanted to share our story so other children would know that they do not walk this journey alone. Some of his therapists, doctors and some special education teachers do use the book in sessions and class to read and discuss with their younger clients and students. It opens a line of communication for the child and seems to make it easier when they hear another kid say, “Hey, this is what happens to me. This is why I feel different, and it’s okay.” The children could use the story to draw pictures of how they may feel different, or they can compose a story with the same theme, which would allow them to express themselves in a way that would encourage some deep insight and thought.
Who should buy and use this book?
We hope anyone who loves a child who struggles with challenges of any kind would buy the book. Personally, I have not seen a book that speaks to a younger audience on this subject. It has also been heart warming and comforting to the parents who love children like mine, whose hearts break every day watching their child struggle. It offers hope, reassurance and a lesson in tolerance and acceptance. Of course, as mentioned above, anyone who works with special needs children would benefit from the message found within the book. I would like to end with a quote my mother gave me years ago. I read it every day and it has pulled me through some very difficult days when I thought we simply could not handle anymore chaos, rages, mood swings or bad news. It reads, “No child is an accident, for each child is given to the mother GOD intended.” It seems to make me cry and make me smile all at the same time.
Thank you, Kim, for talking with me today about your wonderful book. If you have a question about parenting a child with a behavior disorder, you can leave your question here for Kim today. If you have any suggestions of books, besides No One is Perfect and You are a Great Kid for children with behavior disorders, please leave a comment here and let us know.
February 25th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
My stepson has been diagonsed with ADHD and is currently taking medication. He is now in 2nd grade, but kindergarten was a real struggle for him. He knows he is different from other kids, and he wants to be the same, so he often gets frustrated and cries. He had trouble learning to read and still is behind with his language development. When I look at him, I see a child who has made REMARKABLE progress and is almost working to grade level. But sometimes I wonder what other people think when they look at him, and why does that matter to me? I think it is because I just wish everyone could see the “perfect” kid that I do.
Margo
February 25th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Kim, God Bless you for writing the book and for your perspective that every kid is a gift from God. My 7-year old son was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at 3-1/2. We are doing great, Praise God. My question is more for other friends who have suspicions but whose children either do not have a diagnosis (not yet pursued) or can’t seem to get a diagnosis (don’t meet all the criteria for such-n-such). Maybe it’s only because of my personal experience and stories from friends, but doctors seem to try to look for one “neat package” like something on the autism spectrum or clearly ADHD or such. How did you manage to get the diagnosis you now have of OCD/Tourettes Disorder/ADHD/PANDAS? How did they tease out what he does not have to be left with what he does? I think more families would be helped by specific multiple diagnoses like this that by nothing because their child just doesn’t fit into a neat umbrella diagnosis. Thank you so much and God Bless, Shannon
February 25th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Thanks for the post. Great information along with someone to talk to and ask questions.
Stephanie
February 25th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Shannon,
thank you for the post and question. The bipolar diagnosis went out the window becasue he never went into the “mania ” phase, and some other aspects his psy. felt that did not quite fit altogether. The OCD has been prevelent from early on, that was easy, even for me to recognize. The Tourettes came on at the end of 5th grade after a strep infection, thus bringing on the PANDAS which fits,along with a huge decline in impulse control, raging and increase in the OCD symptoms.Considering he was sick for a long time as a toddler with ear infections, most likely he had strep then that was never diagnosed and brought out the OCD symptoms early. HE ahs also had 3 closed head traumas, sporting related, which is why he was sent to a traumatic brain specialist for testing, this is who put the connection of strep and the Tourettes and gave the PANDAS diagnosis. The Tourettes Disorder Spectrum is kind of a umbrella, becasue not only does is consider the tics but the other behavioral difficulties too, ADHD,poor impulse control, rages,mood swings, severe anxiety, all of which he also deals with.
February 25th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Shannon,
I would also like to say we are very fortunate to have a great psychologist who specializes in childhood emotional disorders. He has been a blessing to us. He is on top of the latest and greatest findings and information. As you know none of these disorders are clear cut, most of them are “co-morbid” with other illnesses, and many of these kids have so many of the same characteristics whether they be ADHD/OCD/Aspergers/anxiety.
February 25th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Margo, thank you for always helping us find great resources! As a counselor in private practice I see a great need for books that help kids understand what is going on with them. There are many self-help books for adults, but not enough for kids, and kids grow up not knowing their own diagnoses, what their meds are, how they are supposed to work, how to tell if they are not…so when they graduate they don’t have the tools to take over their own psychological care. Any resources that help empower kids are excellent!
For parents looking for similar resources, Lawrence Shapiro, PhD writes books and creates games for kids on many topics, and there is a catalog full of resources called Childswork Childsplay. Free Spirit Publishing also does great work in this area.
Parents who need more help with diagnosing or treating or answers can find a counselor or psychologist through their insurance, through friends, or at local Children’s Hospitals. One word of advice I have is, trust your gut. If you don’t click with a doctor or therapist find one you trust. They may not always tell you what you want to hear but if you have a good relationship with them you will get the help you need.
Thanx again for the resource!
Amie
February 25th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Hi Amie,
Thanks for such a great post. Trusting your gut is crucial. Finding a good, helpful and compassionate doctor can be tricky.
February 26th, 2009 at 2:06 am
Melissa K, third grade teacher said (from Facebook):
This sounds like a great book to use in just about any classroom. What a great way to get a class discussion started about being understanding of people’s differences.
February 26th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I feel so fortunate to have heard about this book! I have a little boy with a very intense personality, and I know he feels bad after some of his “episodes.” I would love to share this book with him so he knows how much we will always love him!
Thank you!
February 26th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I’ve always thought the greatest books are those written out of love and this is no exception! Kim, thank you for taking the time to write a book for your son, and in the process helping many other parents and children in the same situation. Great book and great interview!
Kristin
February 26th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
How responsive have your son’s teachers and other school staff been his behavior diagnosis? What problems have you encountered or what support have you received???
February 26th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I can not thank you all for sending me such positive feedback on this blog tour. It is so nice to feel like we can offer some comfort to children everywhere. I hope you will get the book and if you enjoy it then pass it onto someone else who may benefit. To address Sherry’s question: Until middle school he did well in school, but at the end of 5th grade the Touretess appeard and his OCD, anxiety and impulse control got muc worse (after the strep infection). Once middle school started he was immediatley targeted as “odd”, becasue his tics were very noticeable. The kids teased him daily, he quickly declined in his functioning and the past 2 years have been a nightmare in school, he has been in now 4 different middle schools because the system would not listen to ME !!! They chose to see him as a “behavior problem” rather than a child with serious neurological disabilities that manifest in poor emotional control. I provided numerous documents from professionals on how these disabilities manifest in many kids in a outwardly behavioral manner.To no avail. I could go on about this nightmare for hours but will try to cut is short. Finally, this year he was in a class with a teacher you “got it” realized he was not in control of his emotions, anxiety and outbursts. After many meetings and the “school psychologist” testing, they acknowledged that yes his problems are neurologically based, not intentional poor behavior.(what I had been telling them for 2 years now) So he is now in a learning disabilities classroom specifically for kids with neurological disabilities (LD neuro science). He finally is able to stay in class all day, make good grades again and slowly build his self esteem back up. It is very frustrating because I believe he lost 2 years of education because the school district refused to listen to me, the parent. I did have the special ed coordinator who had been workingw ith us for one of those years admit to me that she finally does understand, and that after 30 years of doing her job had never had a case like Zack, when the parent really was telling the truth, not just making excuses for the childs poor behavior. I guess that was some satisfaction, but too little almost too late.
February 26th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
I wanted to address something I said above about Zack being in 4 different schools, I would not send him back to the first middle school due to the severe and constant harassment and teasing, he would literally sit at the lunch table and cry. So for the 7th grade I moved him to another school, in a ED class which did not work either, kids still teasing and so on, the teacher was not able to address his anxiety or help him. This year, 8th grade our neighborhood was zoned for a new school, so he went there and again the teasing, name calling etc….poor emotional control, poor impulse control, home based for a while, until finally the teacher mentioned above helped to make the rest of his “team” see that his poor emotional control and stability was at the root of his poor school perfomance, so onto the school now, which is the specialty class for LD neuro impaired. I did not want to leave the impression he was sooooo unruly that he got kicked out of 3 schools.
February 26th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Kim,
I just want to tell you how much we all appreciate your honesty and hard work. I know there are other parents out there, struggling, that can learn from you! You ought to do workshops.:) It is so important to be an advocate for your child. Thank you again for sharing that with us.
I’ve had several people ask where they can get the book. It is available on Amazon. I put a link to Amazon from this blog post.
Thanks again,
Margo
February 26th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
thank you Margo. IF there are any teachers, therapist, anyone working in a field that may benefit from this story the best way to purchase would be through the publsiher Booksurge.(1-866-308-6235) They offer discounts of 40% off for bulk orders.( you must have a tax id#). We were lucky that one of his therapist bought a bulk of books and gives them to her kids who have similar situations. I think they consider 10 or more a bulk order. Thank you all for such wonderful comments and support. Kim Hix
February 26th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
me again, sorry Margo, did not mean to contradict what you said about ordering from Amazon, that is the best for single purchases, but if you want more than one, to get a discount then contact Booksurge.
February 27th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Kim,
Thanks for the extra information about Booksurge for big purchases. That’s great information!
Margo
March 16th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
If anyone is reading this and considering home schooling, that’s the decision I made this year. No regrets! It’s a beautiful thing to at least have choices: this school or that, public or private, or even home schooling. God Bless, Shannon
February 24th, 2012 at 12:58 pm
A good book is the precious lifeblood of a master spirit. ~ John Milton